For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
