What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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