walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
