cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
