she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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