tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
