Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
