She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
