Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
