He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
