Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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