Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i now understand why vodka
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
