Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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