apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I skipped work to stalk him.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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