i'm signing you up for texting rehab
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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