...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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