like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
