You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
