did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
