We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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