Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
