The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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