i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
being pregnant is like rehab
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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