Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
