i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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