he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
