There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Betty ford says i'm here all night
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
