she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
