What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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