I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
