My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
