sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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