So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
