FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
