but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
