My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
