you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He better not be in your backpack
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
