i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
