Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
