DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
