Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
