I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
