looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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