my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
