3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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