Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
50% drunk capacity currently
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
