i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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