Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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