i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
