She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
