I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
