Say something about gay babies.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize